Everything Ever: a list

Biscuits_005096

Just so you know… we’re allowed to doodle around here.  Doodle with our hands, and doodle with our minds (whoa, that’s deep).  It’s safe.  Just be you (even if you just want to doodle hearts and flowers).

What follows is a list of things that happen in my mind.  Maybe you have a little of the crazybrain too?

ONE:  I’ve been thinking a lot about the barometers of adulthood lately.  I think of marriage and children as easy adult gauges… and since I’m nowhere near either of those, I can still act a childish fool, right?!  Not quite.  I once thought that managing my own taxes was a clear sign of my adult-self living my adult life.  Living alone?!  Surely I’m grown!  Eating Cheetos for dinner… pffft, it’s like I rule the entire adult kingdom!!!

In fact, none of these are accurate barometers of adulthood.  I know, because I found the real measure:  It’s not taxes.  It’s not living alone… It’s cleaning my walls.  Actually scrubbing WALLS in my house.  I did this…. for hours.  I am now, most officially, living an adult life.  I also now  understand why we eat Cheetos for dinner.  Necessary comfort.

Buttermilk Beignets

TWO:  I wish there were one word to describe the following happenings:

– the act of adding water to you totally-already-empty bottle of dish soap, in order to extend its (already gone) life.  I have definitely never done this… but I know people who have (pffft).

-the act of using your roommate’s expensive shampoo then replacing the bottle exactly the way it was on the shower rack, as if they remember exactly how they place their shampoo.    Ps.  You smell like your roommates shampoo… you’re not actually fooling anyone (namely, your roommate).

– the act of freaking out that your yeasted dough is too wet, too dry, not risen, over risen, and otherwise totally shot-to-hell (as was my constant fear with these Buttermilk Beignets).

honey mustard broccoli salad

THREE:  I can’t wait to see all the random food that food bloggers turn green for the upcoming St. Patrick’s Day holiday.

Some food is naturally green.  I’ll leave it at that…

reach

FOUR:  I’m the kind of person who will always stop for a seemingly lost dog.  It’s an impulse.  Sometimes calling for the dog doesn’t work, especially if the dog isn’t socialized or is super scared about being out in the world alone.  Sometimes the dog does come when you call him.  There’s a very real freakout that happens when you call a seemingly lost German Shepard and they actually.come.running.at.you.at.full.speed.  Those five seconds that you watch a giant German Shepard running at you are very long seconds indeed.  Long… Maybe-I’m-about-to-be-mauled-right-now seconds.  Sidenote:  he was a nice German Shepard, he wasn’t lost, just wandering.  Super Sidenote: Praise God.

Cats aren’t as maul-y (in theory).

Hyphens are totally in style.

brittle and jam blonde brownies

FIVE: I saw a bad car accident happen right before my eyes this week.  It was totally unnerving and I think everyone is ok.  It was a very good reminder of all the ways that we collide into one another on a life-basis.  We collide.  I want to say it’s inevitable, but I’m not certain that’s true.

SIX:  I don’t think people know what they’re saying when they encourage me to ‘dance like nobody is watching’.  Seriously… do you know what that would look like?  It would look like me trying to booty clap in front of a mirror.  Oh gosh.  It would only be entertaining because I’m so so so far from actually being able to do it.  It’s harder than Calculus.  I just…

What’s it called when you talk about booty clapping on your food blog?  What’s it called…?  It’s on the tip of my tongue.

…. OVERSHARE!  That’s it.  Exactly.

img043

SEVEN:  Do we need to talk about how meteors are hitting the earth?  I know it’s been a few weeks since space rocks fell on Russia… but WHOA!

Do we need to talk about all the giant rocks that are out in space not hitting the earth and how that is a dang miracle?  Or should we just keep talk about The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills?

When in doubt (aka… when rocks hit the Earth) listen to your father.

Biscuits_005095

EIGHT:  Shine bright.  It makes a difference in the world.

I love you (not weird, just true).

xo joy

All Comments

I Made This

Questions

112 Responses

  1. Dance like nobody’s watching? There is a reason I dance that way. Because nobody’s watching. Nobody needs to see that. When I feel the music, I feel it!

  2. I try not to worry about my batter. I’ve been amazed before at how forgiving baking was for something so entrenched in science.

    Next weekend is hell night, when I turn your garlic bread into a super spicy (well, as spicy as bread flour and yeast can be) feast for our tongues. Yum!

  3. In our household we call the phenomena of adding water “the shampoo effect”, it can be done with shampoo and often it can happen after a big night of drinking. The tiniest bit of alcohol the day after drinking can make you feel like the residual alcohol expands in you and makes you feel drunk. Love the blog and love the podcast!

  4. I’m currently convinced I’m going to become an adult when I get a linen closet. And then when that happens, I’m sure it’ll be something else ridiculous, like when I have a lawn to mow or someone to do it for me. Glad I’m not the only person who dances like that in front of the mirror…. have a great week :)

  5. I used to teach high school and I always told my students that the true measure of adulthood was having to go to work to earn money and then use that money to buy your own toilet paper. Because nothing hurts as much as calculating how many hours you had to work that week to be able to buy something that you literally flush down the toilet.

  6. Some kind-hearted person brought my puppy to the nearest vet when he escaped and they were able to contact us from the tattoo on his ear. THANK YOU for always stopping for lost dogs.

  7. Hi Joy!
    I’m sitting at my favorite cafe reading your blog while I eat a sandwich and this resulted in me accidentally spreading oregano all over my keyboard…
    To the point: This post made me want to tell you these things
    ? Each person has it’s own barometers. It doesn’t have to be a child.. In my mother’s group therapy, they told them that “In your life you have to give birth to something. Be it a child, a project you’re proud about, a recipie (a book!), etc…” (but I guess you know this one inside)

    ? I never understood the concept of “oversharing”. Hey! It’s your blog! Your space! If somebody feels uncomfortable with what you share here, well they can go somewhere else! Noone’s keeping them! If Bob Dylan or Dixie Chicks followed some peoples wimps we wouldn’t have some grate songs today!

    ? I really liked your doodles, Especially the last one. I can imagine it as wrapping paper (a very thin, tissue one)
    we like you for what you are! That’s why we’re here!

  8. I didn’t want this article to end. So good and also I almost choked on my drink at the phrase “overshare”

  9. I couldn’t care less that this post wasn’t about food. It was wonderful and made me smile so incredibly much. Your thoughts are hilarious and lovely!

  10. When I was a kid, my mother bought expensive tea tree oil shampoo. She used to say, “The size of a dime, Shantini, that’s how much shampoo you need. The size of a dime”. In a lone act of rebellion when I was really angry at her, I poured half of the bottle down the shower drain. I remember how satisfying it was to watch the shiny bubbles pop up from the drain…is there a word for that?

  11. I have 9 months left of being a teenager, it’s scary. I don’t want to get old… 20s old, isn’t it? I mean The Polar Express came out when I was in the 5th grade for goodness sake!

    Anyways, I love when you do posts like this. I realized today just how much I love you for real and how much I’m in love with your blog.

    Happy Sunday! <3

  12. We love you joy! Not that’s can actually speak for all the awesome
    people who read this.. but yea. We do.

  13. i’ve never commented before, but i really love your blog. i discovered it fairly recently and it’s now a favourite (i didn’t spell favourite wrong, i just live in canada) anyways, keep doing what you are doing! i love your food, but just as much, i love your “voice” and your observations. :)

  14. Still laughing….if my mind doodles were this entertaining my blog would be made up of only them. Still craving beignets and a quick trip to New Orleans thanks to you. Also thanks to you, I will be able to take care of at least one of those cravings very soon.

    Tammy

  15. This was super fun to read! I feel like I’ve know you forever… (not wired, just true) and that’s me borrowing for you, not you shampoo just your line .

  16. I often can’t stop describing myself as “a giant child” and then in the next breath I’m trying to prove that I’m not only an adult, but I’m an old woman (cry over lost Tupperware much?). I remember the first time I scrubbed my walls and baseboards… because I then called my mother to tell her how grown up I was…I hope she was impressed.
    And dancing like nobody’s watching… I still take worried glances over my shoulder to ensure that nobody can see through my walls when I burst into dance (because I’m pretty sure I resemble Elaine from Seinfeld).
    Love your thoughts!

  17. “Shine bright. It makes a difference in the world.” That really sang to me this afternoon. Thank you for the lovely words Joy :)

  18. Thank you for that. I needed to be reminded that everyone has this “crazy brain” and thoughts. The long winter in Maine is getting to me..along with everyone getting pregnant around me. Oh spring can’t come soon enough.

  19. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Joy. For the so-called adults who are still trying to figure out their way in that complicated, crazy, oh-so-surprising journey we call life, it’s nice to know we’re not alone.

    PS. I’m one of those guilty of roommate shampoo thievery…desperate times… ::::shhhh::::

  20. I too am the kind of person that will stop for a seemingly lost dog, heck pretty much any seemingly lost animal. I know I scared my mom more then once going up to a random dog when I was a kid.

    I mostly had to post because I still dont feel like an adult and I’ll be 35 this year and I have a baby girl, omg she’s 9 months old today wtf does the time go! I’m not married, but I dont think it would make me feel more like an adult. I know when I was a kid it seemed like the most “adult” people that I knew just didnt have any fun and darn it I still wanna have some fun and enjoy life. Or maybe I just heard that commerical “I wanna be a Toys-r-us kid” too many times lol.

  21. No no no please do not dilute your soap with water. You can dilute in once it’s in your hands, that is very much okay. But diluting the whole bottle changes the ratio of preservatives-to-water, AND you’re adding water from your tap that contains bacteria… which means you’re gonna get mold growing in your soap. Nobody wants that.

  22. or how about when you try to rescue a lost puppy and the said puppy freaks out and runs into oncoming traffic instead? I mean…not that that’s ever happen to me, totally hypothetical of course. (after a vet examination, the puppy was fine, no worries) I loved this, and your thoughts on being an adult. I feel the SAME way!

  23. That was my favorite posting of your ever!!! Sper freestyle and fun…I feel like I just got off a cool roller coaster !! Thnx for that !

  24. Woman, that is not OVERSHARE. That is commitment to honesty, right there,. :D hahaha This was brilliant! Dancing is not harder than calculus! Well, almost! Depending on what level of Calculus/Booty Clapping/ballet you may be in! :D hahaha

  25. Joy,
    I’ve been following your blog for some time now. I love it and you so much. I always look forward to reading a new post. They make my day. (:

  26. That neurotic terror that hits when there is a large German Shepherd running full speed at you… it doesn’t dissipate even when said 150 pound German Shepherd is your pet. We have two. It’s terrifying and exciting at the same time. Then they double you over with puppy kisses and it gets even more frightening/hilarious.

    And… I had to approach The Googles for “booty clapping,” wishing I had seen your warning on Facebook NOT to do this ahead of time. oh lord save us all from the booty clapping contests ala youtube.

  27. dear joy,

    this list was the business. also the mention of booty clapping maybe… made my life. it might have… yes.

    with real love in my heart,
    abby.

  28. …I love it when you ramble. And doodle. It comforts my ocd/adhd mind. Scary, yes? ;o)

    …I love you too Joy.

    …Enjoy your weekend!

    …Blessings to you. :o)

  29. I absolutely love your “Papa Says” post. It makes me cry in the best way. Dad’s are the best and yours seems pretty fantastic.

  30. I haven’t been on your site (I found Twitter) for a while but this is the reason I keep coming back.

  31. i am almost positive that your blog is my most favorite of all the blogs. it is just. so. good. i laughed out loud at number six and might have read it out loud to my husband. (p.s. he also thought it was hilarious).

    i hope you have a great weekend!

  32. I can’t not stop for a stray animal. No matter how far from home I am. Last week I was out of town and near a friend’s house and called them to ask if they could look after the stray cat I found since I didn’t want to try and drive her 3 hours home. Crazy lady. That’s me.

  33. I do the shampoo thing when I’m visiting as if they didn’t invite me to their house, wouldn’t they expect to share their shampoo? And what the heck is booty clapping?! I want to google it but I’m afraid.

  34. Once you tried to booty clap and tried a pole dancing class, you must, you must, (did I say must?) have lots of respect for Strippers (capital S). It’s hard work.

  35. I love it Joy! I’ve experienced the “dance-like-nobody-is-watching” thing and it was fun until I caught my husband secretly watching/recording it. Let me just say watching a video of yourself dancing when you think nobody is watching you is not cool. I mean it was totally funny as hell, but not cool.

  36. The awesomeness of this post motivated me to comment for the first time! I was booty clapping in front of the mirror the other day and my boyfriend walked in and told me I was doing it wrong.

  37. When I was in college I began to notice that my shaving cream wasn’t lasting as long as usual. This was a problem as I was on a very limited budget. Then one day I saw another woman returning it to my locker. I asked her why she was using it. She said that she didn’t have any and figured that I had plenty. I let her know how small a budget I had. I have no idea whose she took after that. Some months later I noticed that this same woman played the radio all night. I asked about that, and she explained that she got used to it when she was little and didn’t want to hear her parents fight. Maybe she was open with me because I hadn’t turned her in for taking my shaving cream–Now I feel I owe her for opening my eyes to difficulties in others’ lives that don’t show on the surface. Just because someone’s life looks perfect doesn’t mean that it is.

  38. I love you. :) And I think freaking out over failing-to-rise-properly-dough should be termed “nonfermentaphobia” This could work for overly-worried and newbie home brewers too.

  39. Agree–love these posts as much as your decadent dessert ones. I just made the banana rum cake with the brown butter frosting from your book, and subbed coconut sugar. It has an amazing caramel-y flavor and was a hit with my coworkers. It also sparked a conversation about fancy drinks and adding a shot of amaretto and a little lemon to a dark and stormy. Love that kind of synchronicity! Thanks, Joy!

  40. also? the “pffft” is the sound that empty bottle makes when you add water to it.

    I mean, I think it sounds like that, I have never done this… pffft.

  41. A few things…. There is totally no way to quantify being an adult. It is frustrating and always running through my brain. Is this what being a grown up feels like? Ugh. But, cleaning your walls is totally a legitimate adult practice. Holy heck.
    And… If I honestly had a nickle for every time I was caught trying to booty clap in-front of my bedroom mirror… let’s just say, I would have more of an adult savings account. It’s not easy. Is thigh clapping a thing? Because I think that is what happens most times. Also… ultimately, if I figured it out,I think I would be freaked out that I was able to make my butt do that. Some lessons are better left unlearned.
    I would rather discus The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills because when I think about a space rock hitting me in the face, It gives me anxiety. Is there a survival kit for that? So many questions.
    Ok. This is a small novel of a comment. Thanks for sharing and making me snort-laugh. xo

  42. Fantastic post! And hey, never grow up, it’s a trap! =) Responsible children are what we should aim for! Don’t curb your creativity

  43. I was just thinking of your rihanna diamond doodles this morning! And now I am treated to more doodles and being told to shine bright. How lovely. :)

  44. I am not going to google ‘booty-clap” because I don’t even want to know.

    Regarding the measure of being an adult – you are never going to “get there”. It’s a big secret, but I will break the code of silence and tell you – you are never going to feel like an adult. I’m 57, married for 35 years, have grown kids and some grandkids, have done our taxes for years, and get my husband to wash the walls. Still not there. Abraham Lincoln didn’t feel like an adult. Einstein never felt like an adult. Your grandmother never did either. It’s not such a bad thing that we never do, and it’s actually a good thing to stop looking for it. :)

  45. Joy,
    I stop for dogs, too. And I kiss mine on the lips. Though I love your writings about food, life and adulthood, thanks to your tale of the maul-y German Shepard, I now completely understand you. Yay. You are awesomeness, in all the right ways.

  46. Sorry, but I think I actually saw you dancing when you described it. Was that supposed to happen? I promise I didn’t laugh but it was pretty funny.

  47. I don’t even know what booty clapping is. Surely, that must be a sign of my super old age (32 in two weeks), if not adulthood. I’ll have to ask my little sis.
    Just wait until you DO have kids…after cleaning my walls so many times, I’ve decided a new coat of paint is the only solution. ;) Cute pic at the end and love the doodlies.

  48. I totally pulled over to help a very scared looking lost dog before I realized he was a full grown and very muscular pit bull. He kept running so I never got to meet him, but I’m sure he was a sweet puppy. :)

  49. i hate hate when people add water to the dishsoap! major pet peeve. dish soap is so inexpensive, geesh. p.s. i totally had a roommate who used all my stuff — razors, shampoo, tampons, etc and acted like she never did. wish i had been bold (smart!) enough to confront her with a bill at the end of the year.

  50. I’ve had many “a-ha, I’m an adult!” moments lately. And then I eat pancakes in bed for dinner and get slapped back into reality. I prefer the term lady-child.

  51. Your musings about life always melt my heart and make
    me tear up. You are really so insightful for your age.
    Thank you for being you!!!!!

    1. Me too! I was reading the post and enjoying the pictures, then the cat picture – wham! So, so, cute!!!

  52. your next post should be about how many weirdos found your blog due to the mention of bootyclapping… :) love this. i did a much less deep but similarly listed post today. it must be a friday thing.

  53. Posts like this make me so happy.

    Also – hyphens are so in! I adore and use them often. Also, I’m a big fan of using parenthesis. I may use them how some overuse exclamation points.

    1. haha. My bad habit is the ellipsis…I am awful with them, but man they are fun. I have adopted them as my signature anymore… :)

  54. I love seeing all the green food, too. It’s strangely amusing all the things that can be turned green once a year with tons of food coloring and it’s totally acceptable. Green frosting, green cookies, green…everything!

    And seeing an accident unfold is so slow-motion, scary, jarring, unnerving, and profound. I am glad that you weren’t in it and were spared, Joy!

    Have a wonderful weekend!

  55. You are such a great writer and have such a great voice. I read a lot of other writers/bloggers who are trying too hard to be someone they are not, and your writing always feels so fresh, honest, sometimes heartbreaking and sometimes hilarious. Well done!

  56. Never commented on your blog before, but that was a most wonderful post! So honest and very true. Thanks Joy!

  57. i love this, joy.

    also, i am the add-water-to-soap-filled-pump-bottles, bc i’m both cheap and too lazy to go to the store . and when i run out of awesome foaming handsoap, i “make” more with regular liquid hand soap, water and shake it up.

    oversharing. amen.

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